Obstacles in Life and Disciplining
I often find it fascinating how people react to obstacles. Obstacles to me are there to make you hold your breath for just a moment, in order to assess, regroup, overcome, get stronger, and resolve them. Not necessarily to run away from the situation. It also does not mean things are not supposed to be because it presents itself: on the contrary, it may indicate it is supposed to be all the more.
And there seems to be a definite cultural difference.
Yes there is the green, yellow, red light philosophy, and of course these things apply. There is physical traffic, and there is spiritual traffic. For both, you have to be awake, or you will have accidents. The staying awake in the moment is coming from that.
But in general, the more we change ourselves, the more we change the world. Just doing what comes easily is not necessarily moving you or the world forward. Neither is this very helpful in the raising of children. A wholesome balance between challenges and things that come a bit easier is definitely a goal.
So how we were disciplined and rewarded is quite different to what I find in my practice: the child that made the most effort got the award or the book or the support, not the one that made no effort and got it far too easy.
When discipline is indicated, the withdrawal of privileges is not necessarily the answer, but an extra chore to make us think. And please be extra mindful with the attention deficit child, teenager, and adult: withdrawal of outside privileges and outdoor play may not be the answer. As geometry is not just in math, but also in thinking and the way our body is created, so it is in moving our body, and our thoughts. Taking the privilege of moving and “contemplating away from your body, it is like putting a red towel in front of the bull: you are making it worse, and pushing them onto themselves. Any human being needs physical movement to help work out their emotional and thinking movement.